You need more than love to make a relationship work.
In “love never fails”, I wrote about some of the basic elements of what constitutes love itself. So many people think they love their partner, but then are not even consistently or intentionally practicing those basic principles with themselves, let alone their significant other. BUT, once we’re made aware of these principles and are working on them, that’s it right?
Love is not enough to sustain a relationship. In addition to the elements of love itself, you should ask yourself, are you FRIENDS with each other? Do you even really LIKE each other? Do you TRUST each other? Have you COMMITTED to one another? Can you FORGIVE your partner for their wrong? Have they forgiven you of yours? Do you have HEALTHY COMMUNICATION with one another? Everyone can talk but HOW are you talking to one another? The list can go on and on! But how do you even start to become successful in these areas of managing and working on a relationship with someone else?
YOU START WITH YOURSELF.
Do you even like yourself? Would you be friends with you if you weren’t you? Do you trust yourself? Love yourself? Are you committed to yourself? Can you forgive yourself? Do you have healthy communication with yourself about yourself? Hmmm…
Being in a relationship only amplifies who YOU are as a person. You shouldn’t be looking for someone to make you whole; do the work and come whole already. Again, this doesn’t mean that you’re perfect looking for another perfect person to be with. It means you have done some work within yourself to be at a place of peace and stability and accountability, and that you have learned some tools and gained the mind to continue to sharpen yourself WITH your partner and for yourself. A healthy relationship is a byproduct of a healthy you. Don’t look at what’s wrong with your partner, what they are or are not doing. Look at yourself first and ask,
Is love enough? How do you know? When do you start to realize for yourself that it is or isnt?
Follow the ‘love is not enough’ series to find out how at an early age, I learned that in my relationships, love was never enough.
One thought on “love is not enough: part one”
“A healthy relationship is a byproduct of a healthy you.”
So, so true!
The golden rule says, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” and I see this statement applying to this post about love. If I’m not loving myself, it’s going to be impossible for me to truly love anyone else.
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