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Bent, but not broken.

conditional love. part two

If I considered, even for a moment, leaving my relationship with God because He didn’t do what I want, or love me the way that I think He should love me, and put conditions on how I love Him in return… Do I do the same in my personal relationships? Absolutely.  The very thought and…

conditional love. part one.

For the first time in my life, I realized that I have recently put conditions on my love for God.  What an unsettling feeling it is to feel this way towards the God of the universe.  It actually makes me feel sad, and I am now in a live process of having to check myself…

she is not your mom. part two.

That conversation with my daughter made me realize how much covering I was going to have to do over her through this process and how intentional I have to be regarding my actions during this new season of life.  I would never want to pass on my adult feelings to her and make her have…

she is not your mom. part one.

Within the same year my ex husband got remarried, he and his new wife made our daughter start calling her new step mother, “mom”. I will acknowledge that the word ‘made’ is strongly subjective here, however, no one can tell me otherwise that a 5 or 6 year old would randomly know to call a…

the other woman.

There are some women who have no idea they are “the other woman”. They are lied to, their trust is gained with lies or manipulations, and they are made to feel exclusive as if they are the only one…but they’re not. They are total victims to the drama and baggage of another’s life, and in…

im sorry.

“Now you want to say you’re sorry, Now you want to call me crying, Now you gotta see me wilding, Now I’m the one that’s lying, And I don’t feel bad about it, It’s exactly what you get, Stop interrupting my grinding… I ain’t thinking ’bout you.” -Beyonce I had never looked at another man…

Jealous or Crazy?

“What’s worst, lookin’ jealous or crazy? Jealous or crazy?… Or…being walked all over lately, walked all over lately I’d rather be crazy”.  -Beyoncé  Me too honestly.  I’ve NEVER been the jealous type in relationships. If anything…I used to be too trusting. I’m always up for giving people the benefit of the doubt, but I did…

pray you catch me: part three

We never did have that sit down conversation that Sunday.  As soon as I got home, he rushed off like he had somewhere to be and the opportunity slipped away.  I was hopeful about the conversation we started earlier, but still anxious about the hickey I noticed on his neck earlier as well. After being…

pray you catch me: part two

July 2016. It was three months since the Lemonade album dropped and three months since the last infidelity. I was still trying to get over that incident and make the effort to, again, move on. This July was a pretty busy month for us. His birthday was coming up, my friend was having a bridal…

pray you catch me.

“My lonely ear, pressed against the walls of your world,  I Pray to catch you whispering, I pray you catch me listening, I’m praying to catch you whispering, I pray you catch me…” -Beyonce  Even in my marriage, my voice could have been bigger.  I am a “stuffer” by nature, and although I aim to…

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